Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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