Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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