is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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