He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
