It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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