this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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