Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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