that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
