Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
