I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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