If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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