Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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