Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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