i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have fence marks all over my body
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
