We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
