My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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