i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
