if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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