So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am full of burrito and curiosity
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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