on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
