Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
