Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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