went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
