is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
