I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
