i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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