I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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