Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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