break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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