i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
