Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
