i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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