Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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