your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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