you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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