That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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