Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
