just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
