Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
