i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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