I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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