Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Randomize
