So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
