I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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