I looked at my own cervix.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm always down for nudity.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
