I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
