she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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