ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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