Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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