benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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