in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
