Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
