Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
