If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
