I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
