i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
