please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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