I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
