I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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