I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
