grandma shit on top of the toilet
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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