GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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