2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to make a zoo with you.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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