there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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